


Chris After Dentist

by therumjournals



Category: Star Trek RPS
Genre: M/M, Pinto, Recreational Drug Use, Teeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-29
Updated: 2010-03-29
Packaged: 2017-10-17 13:55:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/177548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumjournals/pseuds/therumjournals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zach takes care of Chris after he gets his wisdom teeth removed.  Inspired by the Youtube hit <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs">David After Dentist</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chris After Dentist

Chris was all nervous jokes and macho posturing as Zach navigated the Prius through typical LA traffic on the way to the oral surgeon’s office. Zach gripped the steering wheel, trying not to snap as Chris made approximately his fifth “witty” reference to being orally serviced. Zach consoled himself with the thought that a professional was about to inflict some serious pain on Chris’s mouth.

“I hope the hygienist is hot,” Chris was musing.

“Right, right, yeah, that’s really important,” Zach said with a roll of his eyes. “That’s what I look for first in a dentist’s office.”

“Hey, don’t mock me. Hitting on the hygienist is a great way to calm the nerves.”

“Oh, _now_ you have nerves. What happened to Mr. Tough Guy?”

“Whatever. I’m not even nervous,” Chris said nervously.

“What if the hygienist is the one hitting on you?”

“Even better!”

“What if she’s ugly and then she takes advantage of you while you’re knocked out in the dentist’s chair, huh? What about that?”

“Aww, Jesus, Zach, like I needed _another_ thing to worry about? Now I’m gonna be all paranoid that I’ve been violated!”

“Just pull your drawstring tight and knot it,” Zach said, gesturing towards Chris’s sweatpants.

“I knew I should have worn jeans,” Chris grumbled.

“No, you want to wear comfortable, loose clothing during surgery,” Zach said knowledgeably, although his only knowledge was what he’d looked up online after Chris had told him he had to get his wisdom teeth removed. “Here’s another thing to worry about. What if you get a hard-on while you’re passed out?”

“Dammit, Zach!”

***

“Chris, the doctor is ready to see you now,” said the not-necessarily-hot-but-somewhat-above-average hygienist. (Chris had given her a 7. Zach had given Chris a lecture on objectifying women.) Zach stood up with Chris and gave him an encouraging shoulder-clasp, which Chris turned into to an awkward half-hug, which Zach turned into a full-yet-manly hug when he realized that Chris was shaking a little. He rubbed soothing circles into Chris’s back and whispered “You’ll be fine,” before pulling back to give encouraging smile. “Catch you on the flip side,” he called, as Chris followed the hygienist out of the waiting room.

***

“Excuse me, sir?”

Zach looked up reluctantly from his iPhone, where he was immersed in a game of Oregon Trail (Chris has dysentery!). “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. Your friend is awake now, so you’re free to take him home.”

Zach raised an eyebrow in surprise and looked back at his phone. Apparently three hours could really fly by when you were hunting buffalo. He stood up and followed the hygienist into the back, where he found Chris slumped in a chair looking like death.

“Jesus, is he okay?” Zach asked. Chris was pale and covered in a sheen of sweat and his eyes were glazed over as he grinned dopily up at Zach.

“He’s fine, it’s just the anesthesia wearing off. We also gave him a painkiller, but you’re going to want to get this prescription filled as soon as possible,” she said, handing him a prescription for…something he couldn’t read. “He’ll probably start feeling the pain in a few hours. In the meantime, just make sure he gets some rest.” She went over the rest of the details and handed him a brochure detailing what Chris couldn’t do (drink out of a straw, eat solid foods) and what he could do (eat ice cream, drink juice). The pamphlet didn’t specifically recommend lounging around watching shitty movies as a preferred recovery method, but Zach was pretty sure it was implied. Of course, Zach already knew all this as a result of his extensive internet research, which is why Chris’s apartment was well stocked with liquid food products and half of Blockbuster’s comedy section.

Zach pulled Chris’s arm over his shoulder and helped him up out of the chair. Chris slumped against him but managed to stay mostly upright until Zach was able to maneuver him across the parking lot and into the passenger’s seat of the Prius.

Chris let head flop back on the headrest as Zach got in and started the car.

“Zachy, is this real life?” he asked, looking confused.

“No,” Zach said, trying to keep a straight face. “This is a dream. In real life, you’d have to find someone far less attractive to chauffeur your ass around LA. And don’t call me Zachy.”

“Zachy…”

“No.”

“I mean...um…Zach’ry?” Chris tried.

Zach rolled his eyes. “Fine. Close enough.”

Chris grinned a dazed grin. “Zach’ry, do I have stitches?” He opened his mouth and tried to examine his back teeth in the tiny visor mirror.

“Yes, you do. Chris! Get your fingers out of your mouth!” Zach reached over and yanked Chris’s hand away.

Chris wiggled his fingers in front of his face and frowned. “Fingers are weird,” he sighed. He leaned his head back and lolled over to look at Zach. “Zachy, aren’t fingers weird?”

“Sure, Chris, fingers are weird,” Zach agreed, giving up on protecting the integrity of his name and just trying not to laugh. It was becoming increasingly difficult.

“You have fingers, too!” Chris said, as if he had just made an amazing discovery. He picked up Zach’s hand, and examined it closely before threading their fingers together and leaning back again with his eyes closed. Zach looked at their intertwined hands with a raised eyebrow, but made no attempt to pull away.

“I feel awesome,” Chris said happily, his eyes still closed. “Can I feel like this forever?”

Zach considered making some crack about painkiller addiction, but the words caught in his throat when he saw the blissfully content look on Chris’s face. He smiled and gave Chris’s hand a little squeeze. He had to admit – he felt pretty awesome right now, too.

***

Zach was busy plumping up pillows and arranging blankets when he heard Chris calling to him from the bathroom.

“Zaaaaaaach,” Chris whined.

“What’s up?”

“I can’t, um….I can’t get the thingy!”

Zach raised an eyebrow toward the bathroom door and muttered “I don’t even want to know,” but he cracked opened the door and peeked in. “The what now?”

Chris was looking dejectedly at his sweatpants, which he’d knotted so tightly that he couldn’t get them off his hips. He looked up at Zach and shrugged helplessly.

Zach shook his head but went over to help, biting his lip and trying to focus on untying the knot and nothing else as he worked at Chris’s waistband. He swallowed hard as his fingers brushed the bare skin of Chris’s stomach and wondered if he’d imagined the hitch in his friend’s breath. “There you go,” he said, stepping back. He gave Chris a small smile. “Now, let’s never talk about this again. Jesus, Chris!” Chris was already pulling his pants down over his hips and Zach practically ran out of the bathroom before he could see anything that he really shouldn’t.

***

Zach had to admit that he was slightly jealous of Chris’s drugged state, because apparently _Dumb and Dumberer_ was _really_ funny when you were cracked out on painkillers, and not the slightest bit amusing when you weren’t. He was tempted to get up and change the DVD, but Chris kept laughing hysterically, slumping a little farther against Zach every time he did so, and Zach decided he could deal. When Chris was silent during a particularly unfunny scene, Zach looked down, concerned, to find him passed out, his mouth hanging open and drool already pooling on the pillow.

Zach extracted himself from the bed and left the apartment quietly, hoping that he could get to the pharmacy and get the prescription filled before he awoke. He just hoped Chris wouldn’t panic if he woke up and Zach wasn’t there.

***

Zach had been waiting impatiently for fifteen minutes in what was possibly the longest line in LA when his phone rang. He raised an eyebrow when he saw the name flashing on the screen and took the call.

“Karl?”

“What the fuck did you do to Chris, mate?”

“What? Aren’t you in New Zealand?”

“Yes, I am in New Zealand, and yet that didn’t stop Chris calling me asking, of all things, where you are and if you could bring him a cow. Or something.”

“Wait, Chris called _you_?”

“Yeah. Have the paps finally driven him mental?”

“He just had his wisdom teeth removed. He was pretty messed up from the anesthesia. I left him sleeping, but I guess he woke up.”

“Yeah, well, he sounded really confused. I think you should probably find him and stop him wandering into the middle of the street with his boxers on his head or something. “

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that. And what were you saying about a cow?”

“I have no idea, he was going on about how I needed to find you and tell you to bring him a cow. A skinny one.”

Zach broke into a smile as he realized what Chris's delirious ramblings meant. “He wants [popsicles](http://www.skinnycow.com/myproducts/bars.php?myflavor=mini_fudge_dippers)."

“Whatever. Fucking American slang.”

“Well, anyway, thanks Karl, and sorry you had to deal with that. Have fun skydiving, or whatever you’re doing over there.”

“Close. Today we’re ice climbing.”

“Of course. Give my love to the family and all that.”

“Give Chris a cuddle for me.”

Zach laughed. “Right. Will do. Bye, Karl.” He hung up as he finally, finally reached the register.

***

“Chris? You okay?”

“Uh huh,” Chris said groggily.

Zach sat down next to him on the bed and ran a hand over his forehead. “Hey Chris?” he said gently. “Why did you call _Karl_?”

Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to work through the question. “Um. I woke up and…you weren’t here…and…something was wrong with the phone?” Zach grinned at the image of Chris fumbling with his phone and ending up calling fucking New Zealand.

“Well, I’m back, okay? And I got you popsicles.”

“Fuck, it hurts,” Chris said, touching his cheek gingerly.

“Here, I got your prescription filled. Take a Percocet, and you’ll be feeling no pain.”

Chris smiled gratefully as he took the pill from Zach and swallowed it with a sip of water. Zach looked at him and had to laugh.

“What?” Chris asked, attempting a scowl.

“Your cheeks are so chubby! It’s precious. Let me take a picture, Zoe will kill me if she doesn’t get to see this,” he said, holding up his phone. Chris gave him the finger and he snapped the picture. “Grumpy little chipmunk,” he laughed.

Chris groaned and lay back down on his pillow.

“I think I’m going to head home, buddy. You gonna be okay ‘til tomorrow morning? I’ll come back and make you a smoothie or something.”

Chris pushed himself up on his elbows with a frown. “What? I thought you were gonna stay!”

“I mean, I’ll stay if you want, I just thought you could probably handle, ya know, sleeping.”

“Stay. Please,” Chris said, throwing in the most pathetic puppy dog eyes Zach had ever seen for good measure. He knew Zach couldn’t resist that face, never mind that there was a _real_ puppy dog that he probably should be going home to walk.

“Fine, I’ll stay.” He made a move to stand.

“Where are you going?”

“Um, couch?”

Chris lifted up the blanket and gestured for Zach to climb into bed beside him. Zach bit his lip for a second in consideration before giving in completely, pulling his shoes off and sliding in beside Chris. Chris snuggled into his shoulder, mumbling “Don’t be so weird, Zachy,” before settling into an easy sleep. Zach looked down at the head nestled comfortably against him and prayed for sleep to come soon.

***

In the morning, Zach made Chris a smoothie as promised and ran a few errands (including walking one very grumpy dog) before heading back to Chris’s place to spend the day. He returned to the apartment to find Chris propped on the couch in a t-shirt and sweatpants, and grinning ridiculously at the Home Shopping Network.

“Well, you sure look…happy,” Zach observed.

“Zach, you have GOT to try this shit, I’m not even kidding,” Chris said, gesturing to the Percocet bottle that he was clutching in a fist. He looked up at Zach mischievously. “I took two.”

“Of course you did,” Zach said, sitting down. “Sorry, but abusing prescription painkillers is not my idea of a good time. However,” he added, glancing at Chris, “watching _you_ abuse prescription painkillers is extremely entertaining.” He watched Chris expectantly.

“This is the warmest blanket ever,” Chris said spacily.

Zach quirked an eyebrow. “Chris, you’re wearing a t-shirt.”

Chris looked down at his arms. “Whoa. That is so weird.”

“You’re so weird.”

“Your ass is so weird.”

“This conversation is weird.”

“Your ass is weird.”

“Okay, we’re done.”

“Your ass is done!”

“Yeah, we’re going to need a distraction,” Zach said, and he got up to put in a DVD.

***

“Whoa,” said Zach, slumping further into the couch. “Fingers are weird.”

“I know, _right_!” Chris said enthusiastically.

Zach had meant what he said about not wanting to take Chris’s Percocets. At least, he’d meant it five hours ago, which was approximately thirty minutes before he’d realized what a terrible idea it had been to give in to Chris’s request for a _Bring it On_ marathon. And he loved Hayden, he really did, but he was pretty sure that this movie was not intended to be enjoyed without some chemical assitance. So when Chris handed him the Percocet bottle again, he rolled his eyes, set down the carton of chocolate ice cream they’d been working on, and swallowed two of the pills.

Now, thirty minutes later, he felt absolutely content and in love with the world. He felt like he was wrapped up in a warm blanket – well, actually they did have a blanket over themselves now, so he felt like he was wrapped in _two_ warm blankets - and he was finding _Bring it On 3: All or Nothing_ to be a perfectly decent representation of the teen comedy genre.

“Next one!” Chris exclaimed happily, as the credits rolled.

“There’s a fucking ‘nother one?” Zach complained, though he remembered full well the look the cashier had given him when he’d set all four movies down on the counter at Blockbuster.

“Yes, yes, yes! MORE cheerleaders!”

Zach shook his head lazily. “Don’t wanna get up.”

Chris elbowed him gently in the side. “Zachy, I’m _sick_. YOU have to do it!”

“You’re not sick. You’re pathetic.”

“I’m the patient! You have to take care of me!”

“You get one more day of this, buddy. Then you have to go back to your normal, independent self.”

“My what?”

“I know, what a foreign concept. I’m sorry Chris, but I just can’t be here all the time to help you go pee.”

“Come on, man, that was _one_ time! And you said we weren’t going to talk about it again!”

Zach turned to look at him, laughing, and Chris met his eyes, and before he could think about it Zach was leaning down to press a kiss gently to his lips. He pulled back in shock just as he felt Chris’s lips press back against his.

“What just happened?” Zach asked, staring straight ahead.

“You kissed me on the lips,” Chris said casually.

“I mean, _why_?”

“I think it’s the cheeks,” Chris said.

“They are pretty cute,” Zach agreed, looking back at him. He ran a finger softly across Chris’s pudgy jaw and tilted his head down for another quick kiss. “Fuck!” He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated at his apparent lack of self-control. The worst part about it was, he totally would have kissed Chris _again_ if he hadn’t snuggled down into Zach’s side, his lips effectively out of reach. Zach settled for kissing the top of his head as he reached for the remote. He sure as hell wasn’t planning to move, so it looked like they’d be watching _Bring it On 3_ one more time.

***

“Zach, come over.”

“I’m pretty sure you can feed yourself ice cream now, Chris.”

“But I missed you alllll daaaaay.”

“It’s a side effect.”

“What?”

“Of the Percocet. One of the side effects is that you start feeling all lovey.”

“Well that’s great, now come over here. I need someone to love on.”

“Are you going to try to kiss me on the lips again?”

“What?! _You_ kissed _me_!”

“Yeah, well. It was still your damn fault.”

“Zach.”

“Chris.”

“Get your ass over here. I know you’re not doing anything. Let me have one more day of pathetic neediness?”

Zach laughed out loud. “As if your pathetic neediness has anything to do with getting your wisdom teeth removed…” he said. He could practically hear Chris’s pout over the phone. “Fine, fine, I’ll be over in a few.”

“And bring a movie. A good one this time.”

***

Zach heard Chris’s voice from the bedroom as soon as he walked into the apartment.

“Zachy, bring me a popsicle!”

“Yes, princess,” Zach said, rolling his eyes, but he couldn’t keep the half-smile from his face as he set his Mean Girls DVD down on the counter and opened the freezer. He pulled out the box of Skinny Pops and frowned into it. Apparently Chris understood “low-calorie” to mean that he could consume eleven popsicles in a 48-hour period. Zach grabbed the last one out of the box and unwrapped it as he wandered into the bedroom. Chris was flat on his back with his hands under his head, the rumpled sheet pulled halfway up his bare chest. Zach kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, holding the ice cream carefully above the white sheets.

Chris opened his mouth for the popsicle and Zach obliged, propping himself up on an elbow and sliding the chocolate-covered tip into Chris’s mouth. Chris closed his lips and murmured “thank you” around the ice cream. Zach waited for him to reach up and take hold of the popsicle stick, but Chris seemed perfectly content to leave his hands under his head, letting Zach do all the work. Zach let his eyes linger on Chris’s lips, so he was watching when Chris flicked his tongue out to circle the melting chocolate. He swallowed hard and pressed the pop deeper into Chris’s mouth, watching Chris’s cheeks hollow as he sucked at the ice cream. Zach actually gasped when the bottom of the popsicle disappeared into Chris’s mouth, and Chris’s lips brushed his fingers where they held the thin wooden stick. He let his eyes flick up and felt a jolt through his body as he met Chris’s gaze, dark blue and almost…seductive?

Zach narrowed his eyes. “Chris? Are you even on pain meds right now?” He slid the popsicle out so Chris could answer.

Chris shook his head, his eyes sparkling. “The Percocet wore off two hours ago,” he gasped.

Zach bit his lip. “Are you in pain?”

Chris’s eyes flashed briefly down the bed and then back up to Zach. “Not in my mouth.” He lifted his head a little to get at the ice cream, swirling his tongue around the tip and pulling it into his mouth again.

“Fuck,” Zach moaned, pulling the popsicle out and tossing it across the room before he leaned down to capture Chris’s mouth in a kiss. He plunged his tongue through cold caramel and chocolate until he felt Chris’s warm tongue brush against his. Chris kissed him back, their tongues sliding together amidst the fading taste of ice cream, and they were still kissing by the time all traces of the cool sweetness were gone from Chris’s mouth.

Zach realized that he’d slipped his hand under the sheet, and he ran his palm up over Chris’s ribs and back down to toy with his waistband. Chris reached down to push his shorts unceremoniously over his hips, his fingers scrabbling for Zach’s, pressing them to his swollen cock. Closing his eyes, Zach let his fingers trail across Chris’s length, resting his palm across the hot, dry skin, barely conscious of the fact that he was trailing kisses down Chris’s neck and over his chest. A hand on his shoulder urged him down farther and he looked up, realizing where he was and what he was doing.

“Chris, are you sure it’s okay-“

“Are you seriously asking me that?” Chris asked, incredulous, propping himself up on his elbows. “Go, go!”

Zach laughed softly against his stomach and slid down further. His face was suddenly hot and his breathing ragged, knowing that Chris was watching him, and he vowed to make sure that Chris wouldn't soon forget what he saw. He pressed his tongue flat against the base of Chris’s dick and licked a slow stripe up to the tip, locking eyes with Chris. He touched his lips to the head, but didn’t take it into his mouth, not just yet, just tongued lightly at the slit, licking circles against the sensitive skin, then lapping at his cock like it was a fucking ice cream cone, all as Chris watched, entranced. Zach held the bright blue gaze as he slid his mouth over Chris’s cock, pressing his hips down against the mattress so he couldn’t move, could only watch and wait and moan as Zach’s warm mouth closed in around him. Zach had seen what Chris could do with that popsicle, and he wasn’t about to be outdone, sliding his mouth down Chris’s shaft until his lips were stretched around the base. He pulled up again, bobbing his head and sucking messily, as he shot Chris his most seductive glance. Chris’s mouth was hanging slightly open and his eyes were half closed and he just barely got out the words, “Zach, shit, I’m gonna come,” before he did, his muscles tensing under Zach’s fingers as he came undone. Zach swallowed easily, and he couldn’t help but leave Chris with a few sloppy licks as he pulled himself away.

His own cock was heavy and throbbing with need and he resisted the urge to rut shamelessly against Chris’s thigh as he made his way up the bed. But he wasn’t sure how far Chris was willing to take this, so he asked, breathless with uncertainty and desire, “Chris, will you…touch me?”

Chris shook his head and Zach’s face fell, before he felt a hand tugging at his hip, pulling him up. “Like the…the popsicle,” Chris panted, and Zach’s eyes widened in surprise as he realized what Chris was asking for.

He scrambled up over Chris’s body and Chris was wrapping his lips around the head of Zach’s cock before he even had time to think that maybe this wasn’t the best idea in the world. He was trying to remember if he’d come across any specific prohibitions against oral sex in his internet research when Chris moaned around his cock. Well fuck, if they didn’t specifically warn against it, it couldn’t be _that_ bad, and that was justification enough for him to grip Chris’s hair and press a little deeper into his mouth.

Chris’s hands were everywhere, on his hips, his ass, encouraging him with light touches and appreciative moans. Zach fucked his mouth with all of the self-control that he could muster, thrusting slowly and letting the pleasure build. Chris was sucking him hard, and fuck he was good at this, and Zach suddenly had an idea as to where the rest of the box of popsicles had gone. He had a sudden image of Chris, sucking popsicle after popsicle, watching himself in the mirror as he figured out what to do with his teeth and - _holy fuck_ \- what to do with his tongue. Chris was treating his dick like it was the most delicious popsicle ever invented, and Zach just wanted to melt into him. He pressed in once more, as far as Chris could take him, and pulled back slowly against that exquisite suction, and then he was coming with a groan, spilling into Chris’s mouth. He thrust weakly as Chris swallowed around him, drinking him down as eagerly as if Zach had just jizzed a vanilla milkshake. Finally, Zach pulled away, only to lean down again to plunge his tongue into Chris’s mouth, kissing him relentlessly until he felt Chris’s hand pushing against his chest. He broke the kiss and leaned back, wincing in sympathy as he saw Chris squeeze his eyes shut.

“Okay,” Chris gasped. “That was so fucking worth it, but… _now_ I really am in pain.”

***

“I feel fucking amazing right now.”

“Zach, you just took those pills five minutes ago, they can’t possibly have kicked in yet.”

“Did I say it had anything to do with the pills?”

Chris smiled and snuggled closer to Zach. “So, what would it take to get you to spend a few more days taking care of me, huh?”

“Give me five bucks, and I’ll stay the week.”

Chris looked at him curiously. “Why five bucks?”

Zach leaned in, his lips just brushing Chris’s ear as he whispered, “We need to buy another box of popsicles.”

The End.


End file.
